My life story

Walking away like it didn't happen.

The one and only thing we always do after every break up.

We usaully ask ourselves.

Why are we being like this when we can stop it at the 1st place?

It didn't have to end up this way.

And the reason why is.

You didn't asked her to stay.

Walking away is easy.

How about forgetting about her?

If you've been reading my past posts.

You should realised that my posts had changed.

Because,

Whats over is over.

You can't change the fact that she's gone.

You can't change the fact that she's with somebody else.

So what if you still can't forget about her?

Get yourself busy.

And sooner or later you'll be enjoying life like nothing happened.

Everytime when you do something bad,

It will always remain in your mind.

But, when you do something good.

You'll always seem to forget about it.

Take the break up as,

You're giving her happiness.

Letting her spread her wings and find her freedom.

Not just look at yourself and saying useless stuffs like.

I've failed to be a better boyfriend/girlfriend.

What goes around comes around.

If she's wrong. Karma would get her.

If you're right then keep on being right.

There's no reward for being right.

But there's punishment for being wrong.

Forgive and forget,

or live to regret.

Marcus, 27/08/2011

After awhile.

You'll find yourself losing the feeling of love.

Forgetting how it actually feels like.

like what i'm feeling right now.

You want to love. But you forgotten how to.

Then when you're on your computer.

The only thing you do is stalks her profile.

Stare at her pictures.

Then it will soon lose it's meaning.

Staring at your phone waiting for a reply seems like forever,

Hate.

Don't you just hate it?

When you're angry and you don't have anybody to vent it on.

I'd always tought that,

It'll be so much easier if i were the one who gave up.

But i just realised.

Giving up ain't that easy.

To give up an arguement.

To lose every single one of'em.

Sometimes. They will just climb over your head.

And i were there.

I tired my very best to put into relationships and friendships.

But no matter how i look at it.

I always seemed to be outcasted.

In my family.

I will always be the weakest.

The lousiest.

The most fucked up person ever.

And to my point of view.

My friends.

They'd just stick with the friend i'm closest with.

Idk if their just trying to take him away or something.

I just know that. This feeling sucks.

And now. i swear to god.

I give up,

no point continuing being like this.

Seriously.

Goodbye marcus.

Hello new.

Mixed.

Kinda having a mix of emotions right now.

I'm stuck between happy and sad.

I'm ain't sure what am i suppose to be.

Be happy that she found happiness?

Or sad because i got replaced?

Being in love,

told me how to carry on life.

Not being in love.

Tells me how boring life could be.

Everybody is once here at this point of life.

But not everybody carry on life happily.

Not everybody can take such a blow.

Being the 2nd in place.

Being booted out of choosing.

Being in this fucked up situation brings out the worst in me.

i became somebody i said i will not become.

I didn't give a damn about anything.

And i rot at home every single day.

Who doesn't wants to find their own happiness?

I'm sure i want to.

But, whenever i seem to try.

It doesn't seem to work out.

I've been adding friends in facebook.

And my friends teases me about out desprate i am.

But in fact. i'm not.

I'm just looking for what i've lost.

I'm praying for god to show me that path i'm suppose to take.

Praying to find back my lost love.

My trust in love, faded a little.

Because of what i gave in.

I got back nothing.

I put in so much effort and time into a relationship.

But nothing seem to go my way.

I'm that gullible to actually believe that she's actaully cared.

I didn't open my eyes wide enough to see.

What's actually going on.

Friends now are my motivation.

They give me reasons why i should carry on my life.

Why i should carry a smile where ever i go.

Because. In anytime anywhere.

Girls would fall for me.

And i won't notice.

SO I'M GONNA OPEN MY EYES TO SEE.

EVEN IF I'M BLIND.

I'LL STILL TRY.

Lastly

Fuck you, bitch.

With hate. Marcus.

Replaced.

It doesn't seems real anymore.

When somebody says you're irreplacable got you replaced.

Just tell me that you didn't even loved me.

I'll understand, but by doing this. You gave me hell.

I gave it my all.

I tried my very best to give you everything you need.

But in the end i were still replaced.

But as long as you get happiness.

I'm fine with it.

If i were to say that i'm okay right now.

I'd be lying.

And i am lying right now.

Lying about how i'm living my life.

Lying about how i'm perfectly fine without you.

Lying about love.

Lying about myself

Lying about us.

Lying, became a part of my life.

When will my prayers get answered?

I've been waiting for so long and all i get is sadness.

Miracles are for the weak.

My hope doesn't just end like this.

Because i know,

one day, you'll regret making this choice.

I put in 101% and you didn't even try.

I've gotta put my hands together for you

*clapclapclap*

You are quite a bitch :)

You deserve nothing, and i hope you get less.

That feeling of replacement.

Just sucks.

Friends?

That's something we all need.

But some are there ain't just because for the sake of you.

Their there for a reason.

Their there, just for the gain.

And after they get what their there for.

You will see them fucking off from your life.

Finding a chance just to fight.

My friends.

Which i think is true friends.

They are fucking stubborn.

But their stubborn for the reason for me to chance.

For themself to show care.

Although i know my best friend. ( Nigel )

Is a mother fucker.

But he has his good sides too.

You can have all sorts of friends.

But can you sort them out?

True friends stays and change you to the way you should be.

While fakes changes you to their own liking.

So when you got a knife on your back.

Tell them.

I already knew you was a fake.

And knife them back in their face.

Revange is something.

Best served cold.

Since i'm already at this.

I should write something about my past.

There's this girl.

She was just perfect.

Perfect untill everything seems so unreal.

And for once.

Reality seems better then dreams.

But i took everything forgranted.

I just broke up just like that.

In that moment of time.

i felt nothing.

i thought that it's normal for guys to feel this way.

But i was wrong.

I know guys shouldn't cry.

But tears rolls down my eyes when i'm asleep.

Thinking about her.

Everything about her.

And why was i so stupid.

If only time could restart.

But it's all said. If.

If don't exsit.

Because you can never go back into the past.

I always thought that i'm strong.

But i was never strong.

If only i could have you back.

021109.

Love,

Marcus.

We became strangers again.

The best freaking thing to do when you're sad.

1. Hide in your room.

2. Eat icecream/peanut butter.

3. Blast the air-con

4. Open an romance movie.

5. Go to sleep.

6. Remembering to wake up.

7. You're all better!

If you're not. repeat step 1 to 7.

Alright time to blog.

It's been awhile since i've blogged something "Happy"

so i'm gonna try it now!

I know this girl online who had been texting me since.

She's that kinda girl who goes to clubs.

And yea i know. Ain't good.

But she's kinda different!

I don't know in what sense.

It's just that, She really entertains me when i'm that bored ._.

She's gonna kill me if she sees this hahaha!

So many people thinks that meeting people online is scary.

But i don't! i kinda enjoy doing it haha.

Making new friends along the way.

It's doesn't takes your smiles away but yet gives you more!

Alright enough of this nonsense.

Lets talk about today.

It's my school's national day celebration.

And so i went because it's recorded in my testimonial.

And to my surprise. It's rather intresting.

Not like the past few years. Boring max.

But it is also quite boring though.

And i bet i can sing better then them haha!

I'm gonna try going into the auditions with my group of friends!

Bin laden, Png YY, and me is gonna perform at teachers day.

Which is like still far ._.

Ok. it seems weird for me not to post emo stuffs.

So i'll post some! :)

The day we meet was the start of my life.

The day you left was the end of it.

The time we spent together was the peak of happiness.

The others was at the bottom of the well.

If only life could reverse.

The only thing i would change.

Is to stop you from leaving.

It's been a few years since i've seen you.

And my last wish would be to see you again.

Just to get that glance from you.

Would make my life easier.

Getting that heart back from you.

Is what i'm aiming for.

But i'm bad at football.

So it'll be hard for me to score a goal.

But still. Thank you for your time.

and till the day comes.

I'll be waiting. :)

With loves, Marcus

Facing the facts.

You are who you make yourself to be.

Face it,

you can't love somebody who wants to change you.

You can't just change into another kinda person.

Because what makes you today.

Is what you did yesterday.

Whenever you are in trouble.

When you need protection.

You'd always wish that the one you love is beside of you.

You will be on your knee, be it how strong you are.

When your enermy is your love.

Now,

I crave for that same dream.

That dream when you and me are forever.

When i can stare into your eyes.

And know what you're thinking about.

I feel like an retard.

Here writing every single shit out of my life.

And yet you'll not be able to see this.

To every girl out there.

When you see this.

Treasure what you have right now.

Because when he says he loves you. He really does.

Open your eyes and see.

If,

you were to be mine again.

and you don't wanna open your eyes.

I would open them for you.

Tell you every single detail of my life to you.

Bring you to every single part of the world.

Touch you face, and say i love you.

Kisses you, and say i'll miss you.

That's how far i would go

Just because of you.

Love, Marcus.

8 Aug 2011

Thanks.

All my friends asked me to moved on.

and like you said.

Friends comes 1st.

I've actaully listened to them for the 1st time,

And this time. i have no regrets in me.

Be it whatever we did in the past.

All those memories.

Erased.

My life is as clear as white.

But my soul is as evil as black.

So, Watch out.

cause next, I'm coming for ya :)

ALRIGHT SO.

what now ._.

Funny how things turned out.

Look at my last post.

Its was like soo emotional.

And currently it totally changed.

Like how my life did.

Thank you justin. i love you muackmuack