My life story

Sorry for not posting recently. Was rather busy at work and plus my hose was under renovations. Sometimes don't you wish that time can just stop at that moment whenever you want it to be? I always want to but too bad. Life don't support that software. Exertions whenever you disappoint someone. Don't you wish to just rewind that moment and change what you did? Well I did and life doesn't support that software too. I got my examinations result and it's as disappointing as ever. But who cares? Nobody. Where was everybody when I needed them most? I guess my life is just that boring that I have to write a post about this. I have nobody to turn to. Because I don't want to drag anyone into the mess I'm currently at. Because nobody will like it. I got attached. And her name is lean. I would lie to announce that I'm in love but I'm not really sure that I'm being loved. Maybe I'm just peranoid. Just maybe. :) like this for now. Will update asap :)

Hey! Guess what? :)

When i thought that my life was going to be better.

I get rejected haha.

I'm just saying that,

Whatever you do, keep what you think you will need in the future.

Life can't get any worst then mine.

So be happy and smile all the time.

Do you know that guys are actaully the same as girls?

But some guys ruins our lifes by being assholes.

I mean, we have emotions too.

We put 100% into love as well.

So why are we so lefted out?

I actaully don't go for good looking girls.

I just need a girl who is neat and presentable.

Thats all i ask for and what do i get?

Nothing but pain.

I realised. That i'm always making wrong decisions.

Untill this point where it's starting to feel pain.

But who knows?

Maybe it'll be better tomorrow :)

this might be a boring post for ome of you guys..

Sometimes we have everything in our hands.

But we still choose to give it up.

But, you youself don't even know the reason why.

I did the same mistake.

I gave up the world because of no reason,

I spent two years regreting and untill now, i'm still wondering how to get her back.

But i know, sometimes when we lose something we can get it back.

Once? Twice?

But not the 3 times in a roll.

I'm pretty confused myself.

I still cant forget about this girl.

But i think i like another.

My mind tells me to go for it.

But my guts tells me that i can never reach one's expectations.

Plus, i don't even know whether that girl likes me or not.

I can't be like " Hey, i like you"

Or " Hey, wanna be mine?"

It's just totally out of the qeustion.

But what i know is.

I whould give up everything

Be at my best at every place.

Because, i know when i'm in love.

Stuffs like this happens.

Not just to me. But to everyone.

And now, i know.

There is no point rushing like a crazy bull towards love.

I should be naturing the feelins between both of us.

But then. I look myself in the mirror.

And then i said to myself.

What can i actaully do to bring that feeling up?

There is actaully nothing, but to hang on.

I've been sucking out energy from everybody close to me.

My face tells everybody that i'm weak.

YES, I AM WEAK.

But i will be strong, when she's mine.

I will prove to everybody.

That i will become stronger.

And till then.

Peace out..

FINALLY!!!!

Getting to know that you're in love again just feels great.

But i'm not sure about what she thinks about me though.

But i'm sure i'm gonna make things right.

I'm gonna make everything worth living for.

I'm gonna do my part, as a guy on earth.

I'm gonna treat her right.

Nothing has ever become this important.

I'm not sure myself if i'm just desprate or i'm really in love.

But if given the chance.

I'll be over the moon.

Stuffs didn't work out this week.

Everything seems ever so boring.

Plus i'm having a exam next week on monday.

Wish me luck..

Didn't get to see much of my friends.

Sad life i have.

Blogging time.

I always thought that guys should be the one.

Giving in, putting 100% effort into every relationships.

Being there for his girlfriend and listen to everything she gotta say.

Giving her whatever he has and expect nothing in return.

But i came to realise.

In a relationship, it doesn't just concerns about one.

It's both, both partys should be listening.

Giving in their 100%

But i guess. People like me are not lucky enough to exprience that :).

Not lucky enough to feel what it's like to feel safe.

I wasn't always given a listening ear when i'm angry.

Didn't always get a shoulder when i'm sad.

Don't always get loved when i love.

Don't always get attentions when i achive.

But, i got over it.

Not everyone is born with perfect beauty nor attitude.

Not everyone can get what they want in life.

I guess you'll just have to learn to face life and move on.

One of the reason why i'm blogging.

I can tell you guys that,

I don't have anybody to turn to when i have so much to say in my mind.

Whenever you have a fight with your gf/bf.

Give it a thought.

Do you actually want this?

Do you want it to end so soon?

If you don't then just give in for once.

It's not gonna hurt, infact. She's gonna love you even more.

I'm not a love expert.

I'm not a handsome dude.

I'm not a rich dude.

I have rough hands.

I have rough voice.

I'm not a build person.

I get sick easily.

I get pimples all the time.

My hands gets sweaty when i'm scared.

My feet stinks.

I don't have double eyelids.

I have tiny eyes.

I'm not talented.

I suck at studies.

I suck at spelling.

I came from a half broken family.

I have a hot temper.

I get sad and emo easily.

I go high for no reasons.

But, despite all this.

I'm still willing to try my best to give you what you need.

My rough hands can hold you tight.

My sweaty hands can give you warmth.

My rough voice can brighten up your day.

My not buildness can be builded.

My hot temper can protact you.

My sad and emo shows you how much i love you.

My high can bring you up high too.

My stupidness towards studies can improve with you.

My tiny eyes can be made a joke for you.

And with you.

I may just become a love expert.

I'm willing to do this.

Just because,

I think i like you.

I can't imagine what i'm gonna do if i love you babe.

Till here for now.

Hold her tight, and never let go.

Marcus,

2/10/2011 2.32A.M

Remember this date?

We take stuffs so forgranted that sometimes we lose those stuffs then come to regret.

But people make mistakes.

Then when we do, later in life. We would have this feeling.

That we actaully suck by treating it like that.

Well, most people do.

Take me for example.

A long and steady relationship just end like that.

With no reason, just because i need a break.

If you were my stage, you will know what i'm saying.

For those who is not yet at this stage.

Treasure and cherish what you have now.

Because when it's lost, you will know how pain you would feel in your heart.

Those memories is gonna be with me till i kick the bucket.

Stop thinking about stuffs like this just ain't me.

I don't just forget about someone.

They stick with me through my life.

But there won't be another special someone in my life anymore.

To my point of view.

I can never reach somebody's expectations.

Because i'm just that type of guy that girls doesn't fall for.

I'm ignorant.

I'm stubborn.

I'm ugly.

I'm not rich.

I can't give her whatever she wants.

I have a fucked up attitude.

I have a fucked up life.

I have a fucked up family.

I have 2 dogs.

But despite that.

Like any other guys.

I fall for girls who are beautiful.

I fall for girls with special attitude.

I fall for girls, because i wanna love.

But it will never come.

Because of all my reasons.

Girls.

Just don't fall for a guy like me.

For the next person who accepts my life.

I promise you.

Even when i can't afford to give you anything.

I'll still give you my life.

My heart.

My dedication.

My soul.

My love.

I hope someone like that, can actaully jump into my life and carry on walking the path with me.

Marcus,

19/06/2011

This was the places we went.

I totally doubt that you would remember all this places we've been.

But there's words in my mind that i would want to share with you.

Although we've only been together for awhile.

But those times are memories.

And the reason why it's memories is because it has pass.

Dragging on my own suffering isn't gonna help with anything but add on to my pain.

I'm gonna change the way i am.

I'm gonna live up to every expectations any girl could ask for.

Because i know,

People like you are nothing but gold diggers.

And people out there deserves me much more then you do.

So you are nothing but a past.

Nothing but a memory.

Nothing but pain and sadness.

I hope all goes well for you :)

Because afterall, you're a girl.

And girls need happiness more then guys do.

Now time for blogging.

Sometimes, memories become dreams and remind you how sweet you've been.

And those dreams remind you why you shouldn't be hurt.

Why you shouldn't feel pain.

Because, our eyes are the best camera.

We capture images every single second.

And those images tells you how lucky you are to be once loved by him / her.

We should be contented with what they gave us.

I'm changing.

Because times like this happens.

And i'm gonna prevent it from happening again.

You guys should too, because there is really no point adding pain into yourself any longer.

Change. And love another more then how you love him / her.

And to the special someone i know.

We all fall sometimes.

But in the end, we stand up and clean ourselves.

And then carry on walking into the future.

So please. Cheer up and carry on life like no other.

Be happy and smile.

For everyday is a gift.

Marcus,

15/9/2011

This, is me.

Yeap, i know i'm ugly.

But using this smile, i've seen many different types of people.

People who just use you as a tool.

And people who just takes you as amusment.

Those who only talks to you when they're bored.

People, who we call.

Friends.

Friends are people who you are closer to then any person.

Friends, are there when you need them.

Friends, gives you their shoulder then you're sad.

Gives you their listening ear when you're angry.

Be there with you, through joyful and bad times.

Now tell me. Which one are your friends.

I know, not many people reads this blog.

But i'll continue blogging, as ideas doesn't just runs out in my mind.

Tell your friends.

Read this blog. And tell them this is how you feel about them.

Backstabbers can burn in hell.

Back to blogging.

I ran into some trouble lately.

I don't wanna say names so lets call them apple and pear.

So apple and pear were sitting outside of their class.

While waiting for class to begin, they use this "Stare"

And looked at me like i owe them a thousand dollors.

So, i stared back. Because nobody likes to be stared at. Right?

Then i walked away.

Being unhappy, apple and pear came to my class and looked for me.

And there was the time where all trouble came.

They wanted to punch me in the face.

But i guess. just don't have the balls to.

haha, BUT. i'm alright.

Let's give them some pride shall we?

People bully you because they don't have better things to do.

So why not stand up for yourself.

And pity them.

Because everybody is born with rights in the world.

Being strong doesn't makes you any richer right?

So stand up. And stand up proud.

Although i'm not an expert but.

Pride. The only thing you gotta have inside of you.

Peace out dudes.